Terrible Greeting Cards

Stock photography sites are an ideal resource when creating greeting cards. They tend to have every angle of every iconic holiday image covered. They also have archival and vintage collections that make for good cards. Most sites will have extensive floral and botanical collections. And what is the next best thing to getting flowers? Getting a card with a picture of flowers. . . or maybe getting candy.

On the other hand, you can also find stock images for those not-so-friendly greeting cards. That topic will be more fun to visit, so that's what we'll cover today. Greeting cards for your enemies. Using road signs as a theme. Enjoy!

© Imagebroker RM. Image #IBLWES01056879.

 Possible text: Just in case you need directions for where I think you should go . . .

OR

I have a feeling you could get there without this clearly marked sign. I'll see you there . . . from Heaven.

© FogstockMIST. Image #006910.

Possible text: Apparently, there is a physical place that accurately describes my feelings towards you.

OR

Directions to you: Take a right at COULDN'TCARELESS, go straight on APATHY for a while. Turn left on SHRUG. Continue on until you pass EHH and DON'TGIVEA$%&!. You are now at WHATEVER. It should look familiar. Or not. Whatever.

Monkey Suits

Who doesn't enjoy a good chimp in a suit photo? Classic humor. On the comedic hierarchy, it falls somewhere above flatulence and slightly below cats falling off things. It hovers just above slipping on a banana peel and just below football to the groin.

Keeping that in  mind, we will explore the diverse uses of stock photos. In this case, we will use photos of chimps in clothing to demonstrate the potential comedic value of stock images, as well as their ability to inspire imaginative back story. This can lead you to your next creative idea, whether it be an ad or a thousand page novel. Or a paragraph about a monkey in a suit.

© Old Visuals. Image #EV004422.

Sam "Banana Peels" Bonney. Career wise-guy with a propensity for danger. Monkey danger. 

He often strolled about with a stern look upon his face and a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth, though he never smoked, mainly due to his inability to harness fire. Sam specialized in the smuggling of bootleg termite fishing sticks, making him a wanted man during Prohibition . . .Termite Prohibition.

Despite his tough exterior and occasional incidents of flinging things, he had a heart of gold, which, coupled with his opposable thumbs, made him popular in the community. 

Also, he wore shoes, which is pretty neat.

 See this image and more chimps in this gallery.

A picture is worth a thousand words. But you don't need quite that many. Play along and respond below. 

Slow Cars and Moderately Paced Women

Somewhere along the line, someone came up with idea of matching beautiful women with sleek cars. And like the union of peanut butter and jelly, it proved to be a  mutually beneficial success. The cars look cooler and the women appear sexier. Fast women and fast cars. Cliche? Yes. But does it work? Yes. Much better than slow cars and moderately paced women.

© PicturePress. Image #02200450.

Through the transitive property, using stock images that utilize this formula should add appeal to your website or product. Or perhaps, it will inspire you to come up with the next magical combo.

For research purposes and for your own enjoyment, we have provided some of our favorite stock photos featuring women and automobiles. Or "chicks and cars", for the less refined.;) Visit this gallery to see these and more.

© Superstock. Image #1150-577.

© Flirt. Image #AX042504.

© Rubberball. Image #A01006C.

© Superstock. Image #1051-125B.Yeah. This just happened.

© Flirt. Image #42-21868048.

© Pixtal. Image #WE049425.

It's All in the Caption: Valentine Mishaps

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, it seems like the proper time to get everyone in the mood . . . in the mood of poking fun at Valentine's Day using a selection of stock images. In case you missed our previous installments, here's how it works. We take a few stock photos and rewrite their original captions for the sole purpose of making ourselves laugh.

© 81a. Image #81A-00003570-001.

Original caption: Singers wearing funny glasses.

Alternate Caption: A guy I'd like to punch.

Alternate Caption:  Guy failing in attempt to disarm the ladies with comical glasses. Note the genuine fear in her expression.

© Imagesource. Image #IS794-009.

Original Caption: Boy with an arrow through his head.

Alternate Caption: It turns out Cupid has horrible aim.

Alternate Caption: Luckily for him, prop comedy happens to be one of her "turn-ons". Weird.

© Gulfimages. Image #GI09053RF.

Original Caption: Portrait of a young man holding a heart-shaped object.

Alternate Caption: I made this for you. I hope you like things made of my own hair.

Alternate Caption: Man doing the best he can. At least, he dressed up.

The Battle of Offbeat Pets

Another way stock photography can be useful is by helping in your decision-making process. Sure, something can look good on paper, but accompanied by an image, your arguments carry more weight. A list of pros and cons are more powerful when looking a subject in the eye. As an example, we will use stock photos to help us choose a pet. Of course, this is hypothetical and we mean no disrespect to the animals involved.

Today's Matchup: Macaw vs Tarantula

+ = Pro      - = Con

© Glowimages RF. #GWT144064.

       + Can fly, which is pretty cool
        - Can fly directly into food as you prepare it
       + Can talk
        - Can talk LOUD
       + Can live up to 55 years or more
        - Can outlive you, which is depressing    
       + Can be fed some of the same food you eat, i.e. fruits and nuts, so you will never have to handle dead mice or anything gross
        - Bird poop. You've taken the grossest thing that gets on your car and gave it free range in your house


Now let's take a look at the pros and cons of tarantulas.

© 81a.Image #81A-00003292-001.

+ Very quiet
- I'm not sure I like that they are quiet. What if it escapes?
+ You will be the coolest kid on your street
- You will be the coolest kid on your street that regularly handles dead mice
+ Can live in small spaces
- That small space might be your shoe
+ Excellent way to conquer fear of all things creepy-crawly
- Excellent way to live in constant and legitimate fear of seeing a spider

Well, the cases have been presented and the stock photos help us better imagine the head to head competition. Just out of curiosity, which would you go with? Reply below or vote on the sidebar!